FRIENDS OF ELLIS
Community • Education • Events • Connection
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FRIENDS OF ELLIS

COME FOR THE EVENTS. STAY FOR THE PEOPLE.

Friends of Ellis is more than a calendar full of parties.

The events are where many people first find us.

But somewhere between the profiles, messages, inside jokes, campfires, dance floors, group chats and random conversations, something else starts happening.

People become familiar. Then they become friends.

That's the community.
MEET THE COMMUNITY
WHAT DOES "COMMUNITY" ACTUALLY MEAN?
It means FoE doesn't disappear when the event lights come on.
♥

FRIENDSHIPS

Some connections stay sexual. Some become close friendships. Some become both. Some simply become people you're always happy to see again.
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CONVERSATION

Profiles, messages, newsfeed posts and Discord give people ways to stay connected between events.
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SHARED EXPERIENCES

Parties, campouts, weddings, river floats, dinners, random outings and all the weird little memories that accumulate over time.
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SUPPORT

Community also means checking on people, helping when you can, sharing knowledge and giving a damn about the humans around you.
THE WEBSITE IS PART OF THE COMMUNITY.
It's not just the place where tickets live.

PROFILES HELP PEOPLE BECOME FAMILIAR.

A good profile gives people a face, a personality and something to remember.

Someone may recognize you at an event because they've already seen your profile, read your bio or noticed one of your photos.

THE NEWSFEED LETS PEOPLE BE PEOPLE.

Post something. Comment. Share a picture. Talk shit. Celebrate something. Ask a question.

Not every interaction needs to be an attempt to arrange sex. Sometimes people just want to know who's around.

MESSAGES LET CONNECTIONS CONTINUE.

Met somebody at an event? Saw a profile you liked? Want to continue a conversation?

Send a message.

Just remember that being able to message somebody doesn't create an obligation for them to respond.

THEN THERE'S DISCORD.
Because apparently one place to talk wasn't enough.
The FoE group conversation between events.
Discord gives members somewhere to chat, ask questions, talk about upcoming events, make plans and get to know each other without waiting for the next party.

For newer members, that can make a huge difference.

Walking into a room full of strangers is intimidating. Walking into a room where you've already talked with five of them online feels completely different.
ONLINE IS USEFUL. IN PERSON IS WHERE IT BECOMES REAL.
You can learn a lot from a profile. You learn more over a drink, on a dance floor or around a campfire.
01

MEET & GREETS

Low-pressure social events built around conversation and meeting people without assuming anything sexual needs to happen.
02

PARTIES & NIGHTCLUB

Music, dancing, flirting and a more energetic environment where people can relax and see who they connect with.
03

WEEKENDS & ADVENTURES

Campouts, hotel takeovers and other longer experiences give friendships time to develop beyond small talk.
NEW PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE COMMUNITY TOO.
Nobody starts with twenty friends in the room.
If you're new, you are not expected to already understand every joke, know every name or immediately feel comfortable.

Introduce yourselves. Join a conversation. Comment on something online. Sit around the campfire. Dance badly. Ask questions.

Give people a chance to know you.

And if you've been around awhile, remember what it felt like before you knew everybody.

Make room for somebody new.
COMMUNITY IS NOT A SPECTATOR SPORT.
You don't need to run an event. You do need to participate eventually.
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POST SOMETHING

Share a picture, comment, ask a question or contribute something to the conversation.
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SAY HELLO

At events, introduce yourselves. Talk to somebody new. Don't wait forever for everybody else to make the first move.
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SHOW UP AGAIN

Community forms through repetition. The second event feels easier than the first. The fifth feels different than the second.
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HELP WHEN YOU CAN

Move a table. Welcome somebody. Share information. Offer a hand. Small things are often what make community visible.
NOT EVERY CONNECTION NEEDS TO END IN BED.
This one matters.
People are not experiences to collect.
You may meet someone you're incredibly attracted to and never play together.

You may meet someone you aren't sexually attracted to at all and discover one of your favorite friends.

You may play once and never again.

You may meet another couple who becomes part of your life for years.

Let connections become what they actually are instead of forcing every interaction toward a sexual outcome.
THE CULTURE BELONGS TO EVERYBODY.
FoE staff can set expectations. Members determine what the room actually feels like.
Respect people's boundaries.
Protect their privacy.
Accept rejection gracefully.
Don't shame their interests.
Don't treat new people like outsiders.
Don't turn disagreement into warfare.

If you make a mistake, listen. Correct it. Keep moving.

If somebody needs help, don't make it harder for them to speak up.
Sometimes community looks like a party. Sometimes it doesn't.
It can look like celebrating a wedding.

Checking on someone after a rough weekend.

Helping another member finish setting up camp.

Showing up when somebody needs a hand.

Sharing a business, resource or skill that helps somebody else.

Or simply sending: "Hey. Haven't seen you around lately. You good?"

The Lifestyle may be what connected us.

Being decent humans is what makes the connection worth keeping.
COMMUNITY EXTENDS BEYOND FoE TOO.
We don't need to be the answer to every problem, service or idea.
FoE works with local businesses, other Lifestyle communities, educators, venues and people with useful skills.

When we find people we trust or resources we think are worth sharing, we'd rather point the community toward them than pretend FoE has to do everything itself.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW EVERYBODY.
Start with one conversation.
Create the profile.
Post the picture.
Join the chat.
Come to the event.
Say hello.

Then do it again.

That's usually how strangers stop being strangers.
MEET THE COMMUNITY FIND AN EVENT
Test a string.