NEW HERE? START HERE.
Your FoE Roadmap
You don't need to figure it all out at once. Start here and explore FoE in whatever order makes sense for you. If you're brand new to the Lifestyle, following the roadmap from top to bottom is a pretty good way to begin.
Meet FoE
Before anything else, get to know who we are and the kind of community we're trying to build.
How Friends of Ellis started, where we've been, and what FoE has grown into.
The ideas behind FoE: connection, respect, discretion, consent and community.
Quick answers about FoE, membership, events, privacy and what to expect.
Learn the Language
The Lifestyle has its own vocabulary. Knowing a little of it makes everything else much easier to understand.
Our guide to the terms, abbreviations and Lifestyle slang you're going to encounter.
Learn the Lifestyle
This is FoE's road map from "What exactly is swinging?" to actually meeting, communicating and connecting with people in the Lifestyle. Start at 101 or jump in wherever you need it.
Start with the basics. What the Lifestyle is, why people explore it, relationship styles, boundaries and the different ways people choose to participate.
Before you walk through the door, talk with your partner, understand your boundaries and expectations, and give yourselves permission to simply experience the night.
How to navigate the room, meet people, start conversations, handle rejection, make honesty easy and survive the occasional awkward moment without turning it into a catastrophe.
The Lifestyle Conversation. Five communication checkpoints that follow a connection from first interest through flirting, play and everything afterward.
Flirting without the pickup-artist bullshit. Build confidence, read interest, start conversations, show attraction, flirt as a couple, make the ask and handle the answer.
The Unwritten Code
Some of the most important things in the Lifestyle aren't rules at all. They're the little courtesies, social lessons and ways experienced Lifestyle people tend to look out for one another.
Bro Code, Girl Code and Couples Code. The social etiquette and lessons people usually learn only after spending time in the Lifestyle.
Know Before You Play
Education helps you navigate the Lifestyle. These are the expectations, safety information and FoE standards you should know before things get physical.
A practical guide to sexual health, protection and other things worth knowing before play begins.
The actual FoE rules and standards we expect members and guests to follow.
Understand FoE's approach to consent and safety, and what to do if something happens that you believe we should know about.
Go Deeper
Want to keep learning? We've collected some of the books, tools, resources and people worth knowing.
Books, education and resources for sex, relationships, communication and the Lifestyle.
FoE guides, tools and other things you can download and use.
Businesses, professionals and resources that may be useful to members of our community.
Experience FoE
Eventually you have to get off the internet. Here's where FoE comes to life.
Explore the different kinds of experiences FoE hosts and find the one that feels right for you.
Relaxed, social-first gatherings where you can meet the community without pressure.
Music, dancing, flirting and an adult nightlife experience built for the FoE community.
Get away for the weekend with friends, games, activities and plenty of time together.
Our biggest immersive weekends, with the hotel experience built around the FoE community.
Have an event, party or experience in mind? Bring us the idea and let's see what we can create together.
Join the Community
FoE is more than the nights we throw parties. Here's how to become part of the community around them.
Learn how the community works and the different ways people connect through FoE.
Build a profile that actually helps other members understand who you are and what you're looking for.
Learn about FoE membership and choose the option that works for you.
Keep the conversations and connections going between events.
Get Involved
Want to do more than attend? There are ways to help build the experience for everyone.
Help welcome guests, support events and become part of the team that makes FoE happen.
More From FoE
A couple more ways to connect with what we're doing.
Official Friends of Ellis Merch!
Be sure to check out our store often. We are always coming up with fun new things. Some of it may show up at our events. You just have to keep an eye out.
DJ, sound and lighting for FoE events, weddings, private parties and other celebrations.
Keep up with upcoming events, tickets, announcements and what's happening around FoE.
You don't have to learn it all tonight.
Read a little. Meet some people. Ask questions. Come to an event when you're ready. The Lifestyle makes a lot more sense once you stop trying to memorize it and start getting to know the people in it.
